In The Closet
by ThePurplePanda
Summary: Naruto's on a mission to save Sasuke from the closet he's stuck in. Kind of SasuNaru. Kind of not.


**I got the idea for this after watching one of Chris Crockers videos, where he was talking about gay guys and being in the closet. And as soon as I thought of it, I realized it would be stupid, but hey look, I wrote it anyway. Also, I haven't totally given up on Hapless, it's just kind of on hiatus.**

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"AGHH!!!!!"

Sakura jumped up, nearly knocking the table she was sitting at over.

'_What_ _the hell was **that**_?!'

"No! No, no, no, no, NO!" A door slammed hard on the last 'no' making Sakura's kitchen table shake again. Realizing the familiarity of the voice, she rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed, yet relieved breath. At least no one was dying. But really, she wondered if she would prefer that over what it actually was.

Why did Naruto always have to come to HER house to freak out anyway?

"Sakura!!"

The pink haired girl groaned and hung her head as Naruto finally made it to her door, knocking more frantic and obnoxiously than usual.

"Sakura, open up! It's an emergency!"

Sighing, she stood up and made her way to the door, stopping and checking herself at the full length mirror on the wall before she did. Naruto may be annoying, but he was still a somewhat hot boy.

...Well, he was a boy.

She pushed a pink strand of hair behind her ear and reached out to the door knob, barely getting a chance to turn it before Naruto burst through.

"Can I look in your closet?! Ok, thanks!" Sakura watched confusedly as Naruto ran towards her coat closet, opened it, and jumped in, thrashing around, throwing a few things out that were apparently in his way.

A vein on her forehead ticked when a pink umbrella came flying at her head. First Naruto ignores her, then he tries to kill her with umbrellas?

No. That was not ok.

The sound of knuckles cracking didn't distract Naruto from his frantic search. In fact, he didn't really hear it. He was much too busy. But thankfully just before Sakura's fist could crash into his poor, unsuspecting head, he ducked out of the closet and ran to her bedroom.

Growling and clenching her fist tighter, she followed behind him, intent on beating him till he explained what the hell he was doing. And apologizing for trying to kill her, that too.

When she walked in, she found Naruto sitting on the carpeted floor in front of her closet, a box pulled out, and a picture in his hands. He stared silently at it as Sakura's jade eyes widened in realization.

"...Sakura..."

She gulped in response, wondering what Naruto would do. He slowly looked up from the photo in his hand, looking curiously at Sakura.

"Did you know you have a pillow case in the back of your closet... with a box in it... with all these..."

He looked down again, staring at the picture, then picking up another one and looking back and forth between the two.

"Pictures of Sasuke..." Naruto finished by holding up one of the pictures in his hand and showing it to Sakura. It was a shot of their black haired teammate sitting on the floor with no shirt on, his arms behind his head as he did a sit up. And upon closer inspection, in nothing but a pair of navy blue boxers. A few branches were in the way, the picture obviously having been taken in a tree.

Naruto stared at it thoughtfully.

"I should probably keep this as a reference picture," the blonde mumbled as he stood up and shoved it in his back pocket, before switching back into panic mode as he remembered his mission. Sakura just sighed in relief.

But that relieved feeling didn't last too long as she was smacked in the face with a pair of her own underwear.

"What the- Naruto, what are you DOING?!"

He slammed the drawer shut, a few more pairs of Sakura's underwear falling to the floor as he did.

"You're right, he could never fit in there. AGHH, THIS SUCKS, HE COULD BE ANYWHERE! There are TONS of closets in Konoha! And probably tons of people who would try to keep him in one!"

"Naruto, what are-"

"You get back here, you brat! You think you can just run into peoples homes and play in their closets?!"

Sakura looked out at the door that had been left open in all the... excitement, and saw one of her neighbors in the hall.

"Damn it! I thought I'd lost him on the second floor. Ok, bye Sakura!" Naruto pushed her window open and started to climb out, only stopping when he felt her tug on his orange jacket.

"Naruto. What the hell are you doing?" she practically pleaded, being too drained to actually still be mad at him.

"Someone told me Sasuke was locked in some closet somewhere, and I've been looking around for him all freaking DAY!! I mean, who would do that?! 'Course, with all the girls that like him, I guess it's not TOO shocking," he mumbled. "Wish me luck!"

And with that, he jumped out, leaving a very confused, very aggravated Sakura.

(Earlier that day)

"Oh, come on, I don't see what's so great about _Sasuke_..."

"What!?" Ino's blonde ponytail whipped around as she jerked her head toward Choji, Shikamaru just barely dodging it.

"You're just jealous 'cause he's more manly than you and soo coool..." she trailed off, obviously having been distracted by how 'manly and cool' the Uchiha was.

"Oh yea right! Manly. Psh. Let's be honest, he just needs to hurry up and come out." Choji rolled his eyes as he took another bite out of his barbecue pork.

"Huh?" Ino snapped out of her Sasuke day-dreams and looked at Choji. "Come out of WHAT?"

"Come out of the closet."

Naruto, who had been sitting in the booth behind them, dropped his stick of dumplings at that. He hadn't said anything to them before. He was too busy eating, plus he didn't like Ino all that much and they were just talking about boring stuff anyway.

Suddenly a blonde head popped itself over the back of the seat Choji was sitting on.

"Sasuke's in a closet?"

Shikamaru couldn't help but smirk a little. Naruto was so dumb. Choji just laughed, choking on his pork in the process.

"Yea."

Ino frowned at Choji and rolled her eyes, not liking this topic. Turning her frown to Naruto, she raised an eyebrow. "Naruto, were you here this whole time?"

But he didn't seem to hear her, as he looked at Shikamaru.

"Well how is he supposed to come OUT of the closet if no one even helps him?! He's probably locked in!!"

The lazy member of their teams smirk grew wider as he tried to contain himself from laughing. Naruto may be troublesome, but damn was he fun to mess with.

"Yea, you're right Naruto. Maybe you should help him out. If anyone could do it, it's you."

"I will!"

Naruto stood up from his seat with a look of determination on his face. "He may be a bastard, but he doesn't deserve to be trapped in some closet."

"Don't worry, Sasuke, I'm coming for you!! I'll get you out of that closet!!"

And with that, he ran out of the restaurant, leaving some very confused Konohans.

But by the end of the day, Sasuke was indeed out of the closet.

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**I know it was kind of stupid and not funny, but ohwell. You should review anyway.**


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